Stellar’s “Rocket Girl” – Top 10 Tuesday/WTF of the Week/Review

24 Aug

[Warning: A lot of profanity will involve this post. Just saying]

Today is catch up day! And what better way to catch up than to do some multi-tasking! So here’s some WTF of the Week, Top Ten Tuesday and Review special edition brought to you by the epicness of STELLAR’s “Rocket Girl”. Woo.

There has been a slew of stars mentoring and making new K-pop bands recently. Eric of Shinhwa joined the fray with his girl group Stellar.

My first impression when I saw the video was… WHAT THE FUCK. There are so many things I HATE about this video. To emphasize how much I hate this video, I’ll give you my top ten reasons:

10. The fucking hair on these girls.

Sure, so many K-pop stars have gone for weird colors (especially Red) but none of them have ever been assembled into one girl group. Who the fuck is the hairstylist for these girls? The one thing that can effectively ruin someone’s appearance is the multiple hair colors put into one unless it’s like highlights. But no. These girls have TWO-TONE Hairs. Ew

9. The disgusting wardrobe.

Yes, K-pop has had a lot of these disgusting wardrobe choices lately (Skirt for Thunder in MBLAQ, come now!) but I don’t remember seeing so much of them in one video. From the colorful body suit, the silver jumpsuit, to that tacky pink and yellow miniskirt, to the orange socks. It’s a big eyesore. Dreckitude to the highest power.

8. The nonsensical climb up the stairs.

Honey, if you’re trying to be sneaky, don’t walk like you’re about to pass out from walking too much. That plus put some effort into looking like you’re actually going to use those guns. You don’t look like you’re holding it properly.

7. Their dancing.

Seriously now. They dance so stiffly and their choreography has basically been covered by f(x) and other K-pop groups so many times and infinitely better too (That hand waving thing or whatever? Totally ripped from Pinocchio).

6. Screen Glares.

Uck. You know what I’m talking about. At around 1:56 of the video, and in other places, when one of the girls shot the “enemy” (whose fashion is so much better than our “heroines”) the screen momentarily showed up red blue and green. Yes. I hate that so much. It’s sooooo stupid and unnecessary. It’s cheap too.

5. Those Sound Effects.

Nothing ruins a video more than cheesy Star-Warsian sound effects that are best left in the 70s. If you’re a fan of those cheesy tricks then you’ll enjoy the bevy of crap included in this. Guns shooting laser “pew pews”? Check. Hitting a guy and it makes a metal clink sound? Check. Beam me up Scotty sound? Check.  Total mess.

4. The “action sequences” of the video.

Again, What the fuck? First of all, if you’re defending a lab or whatever and you’re a bad guy and you see 4 girls armed attacking one of your team, will you really just stand there and let him face the girls 4 v 1? And then when he falls, you go attack by yourself too? Nonsense. Also, if you’re going to dodge an attack from the enemy, you should really TURN before the bullet passes you. NOT after it’s already behind you. The director of this video and the editor needs to be fired immediately.

3. That Red Head Girl.

Of the 4 members in this group, I hate the red-head the most. Not because I happen to hate her hair color, but because she’s so TRY HARD. At around 3:15 when the girls knocked out all the bad guys and girls, this red-head just suddenly puts on the aegyo a little to thickly while picking up that stupid heart-shaped key or whatever. She’s utterly distracting throughout the whole video too with her wide-eyed stare and her twinkle twinkle eyes. Eek

2. Eric.

Oh dear Lord. I know Temi is currently in love with Eric on Myung-wol the Spy but for heaven’s sake, I want to curse this man for two main reasons: one why did you bring us these talentless girls and two What the fuck are you doing in this pile of shit? Repeating “I Need a Rocket Ship” while reminding us you’re hot doesn’t excuse you from being useless to both the song and the video.

1. The Song.

Now for the actual song review. It’s so painfully annoying and distressing to listen to. It is digitalized to the max with barely distinguishable vocals left. The first verse where that girl sings-talks? Atrocious. The chorus is so childishly sung I forgot I was listening to girls almost my age. In addition to that, there isn’t one serviceable part of the beat. Everything is so sloppily produced. Then Eric shows up to bring nothing special to the table except cause a sudden and unnecessary change to the beat. Honestly this is one of the WORST SONG I’VE HEARD EVER. It belongs to the “Fridays” and “Ketchup Songs” of the world.

Thanks a lot Eric for your efforts in bringing a new girl group. But no thanks. You might as well put them in the machine and work on them a little more. They came out uncooked.



3 Responses to “Stellar’s “Rocket Girl” – Top 10 Tuesday/WTF of the Week/Review”

  1. berry August 24, 2011 at 2:20 pm #

    i must say i agree with you – i nearly stopped watching the video in disgust. i like eric, i saw him act in que sera sera and didnt know he wasnt an actor til after i started watching. that got me interested in shinhwa, him etc. so when i heard he was debuting a new girl group i was interested…
    but then i saw mv and i was WTF!! so bad, cringeworthy. especially the bad action scenes, i mean they got shot at and the dodging was not in sync with the shots fired. the awful clothes, hair, excessive use of autotune, the whole thing ARGHHH
    nearly made me dislike eric just cos he was there… i’ll let it pass this time though, cos i mean, he’s ERIC 🙂

  2. Brittany August 30, 2011 at 6:30 pm #

    I wouldn’t say it’s the worst thing I’ve heard but it sure isn’t close to the best thing I’ve heard. The autotune and sound effects threw me off. I struggled to get through the video.

    • dramapop August 30, 2011 at 10:25 pm #

      Hahaha I don’t know it was one big mess of a song and video I couldn’t look at or listen to it at all ;(

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