Top Ten Tuesdays: 10 Dumbest K-pop Names

3 Jul

Once upon a time, K-pop groups debuted with really cool names like Big Bang, Super Junior, Girl’s Generation, Shinhwa, g.O.d, etc. There wasn’t any sort of gimmick to their names and if there were some fancy meaning to their names (like g.O.d) they didn’t sound stupid, random, or nonsensical. However, a wave of newcomers in the recent years began experimenting with names that they think will make them stand out and sound more important or fancy with the English words they oh so carefully chose to describe their bands. The result: ill-fitting adjectives, unintentionally humorous names, and unfortunate jokes. Here at Dramapop, we’d like to share our list of the ten dumbest K-pop band names that we’ve come across.

Before the actual list, however, here are 5 names that could have easily made it into the list. But just because they’re not in the actual top 10 doesn’t mean they don’t sound any less ridiculous than the rest.

Honorary Mentions: U-Kiss; Dal Shabet; B1A4; MBLAQ; LED Apple

10. Name: Teen Top

Why It’s Stupid: Sure, when they debuted all the members were in their teens. Actually, all members are teens right now. But that name proves to lack any longevity since one of them is entering adult world once he turns twenty (or twenty one in Korea). What happens when they’re older? Do they call themselves teens or change to the more appropriate Adult Top (which sounds like a T-shirt size or adult T.O.P. rawr)? Plus it implies that their music is really for teens (which I doubt they’ll dispute) but also that they will be adolescent for the rest of their careers.

9. Name: A-Jax

Why It’s Stupid: Their explanation for their name makes sense; they said that it’s based on the Greek hero Ajax from the Trojan War. But the name is stupid mainly for international fans (probably American?) who might associate the name more with the brand of toilet and kitchen cleaner rather than the mythological figure who admittedly is obscure. Even in Korea, who will know Ajax? Ask any teenager if they know who or what Ajax is and they will most likely refer to the cleaner than the hero. Go ahead. Try it.

8. Name: 5tion

Why It’s Stupid: Remember how people pronounced B2ST as Batoost because of that number there? They explained that because 2 in Korea is pronounced like ‘ee’ therefore their name should be read as Beast. Thankfully they dropped that and simply go by the better name, Beast. Similarly, “5tion” follows that notion since  5 in Korea is pronounced like “oh” and therefore their name should read as “Ocean.” One key difference: The sound that “-tion” makes is not the same sound that “-cean” makes. In other words, they don’t rhyme. So, if I came upon 5tion, I’d read it as “five shawn” instead of “ocean.”

7. Name: C-REAL

Why It’s Stupid: I’m guessing that these girls thought they’ll sound cool if their name was “Serial”, which I’m sure is what they were aiming for. Fortunately for people who enjoy a good laugh, the S became C and instead of Serial, which admittedly might have sounded cool, we get Cereal, the favorite breakfast option for many people.

6. Name: MIB

Why It’s Stupid: Growing up in the 90s and early 00s, my association of the acronym MIB is for the Will Smith-movie Men In Black. Thus, when this new group came out as MIB, I thought hey, they’re stealing a really cool name. Thankfully for Will Smith, MIB doesn’t stand for Men in Black. Instead, it stands for “Most Impressive Busters”. Do they know what busters mean? Like Ghost busters? or nut busters? Either way, what we get is a totally silly name that sounds more ridiculous when you think about it.

5. Name: She’z

Why It’s Stupid: Let’s start with the obvious. Using a pronoun as your group name is asking for trouble. Have none of them ever seen Rush Hour 3? With the whole Me and You naming joke? Same thing here. The difference is there’s that contraction that makes it easy to say something like “She’z stupid” “she’z a bitch” “she’z shitty”, etc. But the biggest offender? “Z” instead of “S”. Is that suppose to make it any better? It just makes them seem illiterate or even stupid.

4. Name: NU’EST

Why It’s Stupid: Like Teen Top, this name is seriously limited and not built to last. The group is only newest once and never again. I kinda do like what the acronym stands for: New Establish Sound and Tempo. But what a dumb acronym. I suppose Nest isn’t any better but it wouldn’t have been as stupid as Nu’est. That apostrophe is probably the worst part of the name because it doesn’t even serve a purpose. Is it suppose to make the name look fancy? Fail. Does it abbreviate anything? No. Why is it there? I don’t know.

3. Name: MYNAME

Why It’s Stupid: At this point, the name itself is self-explanatory. Seriously, if there were a sign-up sheet for new K-pop acts, I can imagine them just filling out the form just to be funny. This is another case of The me-you dilemma from Rush Hour 3. It’s as if they’re inviting a slew of jokes and double entendres that are neither nice nor fitting. What’s “MYNAME”? “Why are you asking me?” Or “MyName is cool!” “What a cocky bitch.” And so forth.

2. Name: Buga Kingz

Why It’s Stupid: I’m not the type of person who listens to rap music unless it’s something that catches my interest. But I enjoy looking at rappers’ names because they’re usually good for a few chuckles. Buga Kingz has been around for a while but their name must have enjoyed some sort of infamy. Well, look at it. How can you not say it’s not stupid?

1. Name: The Koxx

Why It’s Stupid: This name is ultimately the worst name ever because of all the unintentionally funny jokes I can crack about it. Not only is their name a potentially x-rated name that is representation of a phallic symbol. Truly an astonishing feat of incompetence in name-choosing. Thankfully, their name matches the silly antics of their music but that doesn’t resolve the fact that their group will forever be called The Coc  The Koxx.



2 Responses to “Top Ten Tuesdays: 10 Dumbest K-pop Names”

  1. Ivy Joan Atienza July 3, 2012 at 9:23 am #

    LOL… I’m starting to love to read your write-ups!

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